20/100

Such survivors, troopers

“bro, I’m glad you’re here.”

In this small sandbox

With all these posers

I needed someone that knew how to separate the

Men from the boys

In this realm

Where coyotes reign and wolves starve

Deer explode on the freeways under trucks

That ship plastic

Tattooed and lazy

You fuckers sleep for days at a time

Hibernate right through summer

through fall and most of winter

constantly sleeping

…but sleeping less than those around here

rising early in this perverse spectacle

like a twelve-year-old with morning wood

in the way that infants fondle themselves  

you sick fucks.

With the trapping of the scarabs

In that big satellite-dish pussy

With its adjoining semen ball-pit

Because your intersexed

Interspecies debacle,

With that 23” gigantic-ass genital… thing.

that smells like, Ass.

  No matter what the cause or the case

we will all do what it takes for release

not all of us will know it

and to those, I am sorry

to seek it

on our own terms

to win our own battles

to live and die by the terms we see as necessary

and to love in the way that we choose

I have no valid judgments in this world

only the will to contribute.         

the dream

Under the black flag

We listen.

 In the thunder of the early morning

The verses unfold

Deeply through the various layers of this

Psychic universe

I heard them

In a tongue so foreign

Beyond this realm, beyond these vanities

Striking a chord that

reverberated within

driving all this cheap thoughtless crap

retroactively into itself

as a mirror that cannot withhold

the deluge that inhabits  

all the spaces between us

the rising tide, the waxing and waning crescent

dictating all that this world was ever meant to be

slipping away into the minutia

that would later define an existence  

    

i don't think you know

 between our two lives

there is also the life of

the cherry blossom

    -Basho

Where the mushrooms grow

on the thought of your voice

in the yearning hours of the morning

where I want nothing more than a taste

of your heart

in my ancient, dank parts where the rafters collapsed eons ago

I offer you the same freely

with no presupposition

in the way that I say “tiger”

I mean…

There was only ever you.

With every minute of life that slips away

The only thing killing me

Is the way our two lives unfold

Between us, dividing us,

this world quartering and refracting you from me

I cannot deny it; that lasting ache,

My yearning heart through so many dimensions

So many words -text messages –photos

of your life that I am not a part of

of my life that you are not a part of

sakura fade and rise and fall

upon an ocean of what I feel for you

in the depth of my water

there is a voice that cannot be heard

shrieking out into a world

asphyxiating under its own smog

the samara flutter into the darkness

in such an uncertain future

nothing astonishes

save for
how amazing I think you are

  

where angels shed their wings

Behind this screen

Beyond this imposing appeal

Something that makes its point

Something that is real

maybe making sense is overrated

Maybe alotta things

Where the red skies burn

Where angels shed their wings

Proliferate this play  

like any of it mattered

this world where scars come easy

hearts get shattered

like knots that are binding

like a voice that never sings

sustaining a sphere of nothing

in a land of toppled kings

withheld as the treasure

to make the rich feel flattered

in this land without voice

as if any of it mattered

Where angels shed their wings

Hearts get shattered

in a land of toppled kings

as if any of it mattered

more than the words

more than the verse

beyond this realm

it feels less like a curse 

ghetto ballet

They dance like paper dolls

each locked in a waltz that cannot be undone

shouting comments about heroin, jail, and the various profanities that rule their lives

of powerful ego they have been made

forged in violence, made strong through the decades

by any number of needles and lines

or smoke and chemicals that have framed their existence

pit bulls that wander the streets in search of idealized freedom

seeking some kind of solace in their self-reliance

as they sleep curbside just outside of their fence

strays that have nowhere else to go

find refuge behind the tarpaulin-coated gate

street dogs find refuge here

when their owners vanish into the back of a squad car, never to be heard from again

as that same gestapo crawls down the street religiously

worshiping their paper god with an assault rifle at the ready, as if superior

to a god on paper, with an assault rifle at the ready 

in this twisted joke where the trains never stop for an instant

where sirens and noise rule the land and air

out at the edge the burros call out

crying in the darkness to a land that is

barren but filled with definite life

as the memories of what once was, vanish

into the sound of a helicopter   

under the light-polluted sky    

19/100

(i understand this number)

I like to imagine that

In the beginning

There was a choice

They we all lined up

And asked, what direction that they would like to go

And they all drew lots

And some said they wanted connection before all else

Some said that they wanted closeness

Some wanted power

Some wanted understanding

And it was true, they too could have any measure of anything that they sought

Like any number of innumerable things

And so the lots were decided

And they had to roll with it

 And those that sought connection were connected,

but they were weak.

they were distant and detached

and those with power lost understanding

and those with understanding lost closeness

and so forth; a million times over

(not that I understand this number)

I understand being Human.

When a vitamin hits the bottom of your stomach

Nausea, bringing me to my heels on the back porch  

and it’s trying to come back up

those little huffing breaths right before the deluge

and then it passes. Strangely.

I understand being human.

I didn’t give a shit

about the nettles that were

to get vomited all over

the little seedlings

comfortably nestled in the winter soil

and I cannot care for the cattle

that were butchered a thousand miles away.

For which I have eaten.

It was already decided

like the ladder that was already in position

Long before we even realized there was one

And somehow evaded entropy

Long enough

For this to be considered

A state of lower energy   

      

Crayola

 Come play in my dungeon

Come hide away with me

Down here in the darkness

Is the place you need to be.

Come play in my dungeon

Where I will take you in

And hold you like a virgin

While bathing you in sin

we shall strip you of your clothes

we shall tie you up in chains

remove you from the monotonous

absolve you of your pains

Does that hurt a little?

Does it make you want to scream?

Are you feeling frightened?

Relax its just a dream

It’s a dream that you've been having,

since you were a little girl

That some black knight would carry you,

Out and away of this plain world.

As you have dreamt of me before

I can see it in your eyes

That undeserving gaze you have

Fails to mask your lies

But you my dear can earn it

You can take something here from me

An experience not so forgettable

An experience in which you’ll see

I will clothe you in a black banner

I will nestle you in trust

As if a beautiful jewel

Polished in wet lust

I will break you like a branch

I will draw you like the sea

To this ache you yearn for

That will bring you back to me

There is more to it than the trivial

Do you think I’ll break your soul?

As you feign to realize

Your flesh is only a fraction of the whole

Experience it quite deeply

mind the noises that you've heard

should you need your freedom

now you know the word