conflicted tension

Interim, I am moving pieces in my agenda

composing the sound,

drinking in the æther

there Is a kind of nuance with the delicacy to fragile moments

am I, am I fetishizing them?

Converting meaning in the tryst of the moment

Am I simply fetishizing everything?

The early morning light

Gently tinting the sky

How infinite and eternal

With delicate persistence

I yearn for your form

Pull me from this torpor

Remove these layers of implication

How I wish for the simplicity of the past

weighed against the complexity of the future  

affixed with the tension of the moment

frozen to the sensation of desire

I am caught up in the conflict

Where the marks that make reality

Litter my human form.

Against the backdrop of the beings we are to become

How deeply I need you in this instant

Where the time has dilated

Rendered like marrow

From the ethereal corners of memory

The propensity of these seconds

Where the fabric of the future is made manifest

I am conflicted

Within the prowess of my person

Levying against the purpose of my being

Consumed in an endlessness of integration

How badly I seek to shape the future

With you in mind

As a tense of actualization

That deserves to be relinquished

Windsong

    I

The wind has blown

This song to my ear

Brilliant choruses

everything I hold dear

The fire has burned

Everything out from within

becoming sparkling embers

carried off in the wind

The flow has been strong

Causing powerful waves

pounding at my heart

In such foreign ways

The earth, with my hand

I can help her heal

speak out my words

And teach them to feel

The eclipse in the sky

Has said volumes more

the way things are

On some foreign shore

               II

The heat of the night

Is the frost of my day

Where loving whispers

Become electrical play

The push of the air

Blasts my warmth away

the peaks of those mountains

rending hearts in the fray

I’ll return to her

because she never forgets

all have to go back

we all pay out our debits

but I can escape

I could return to the flow

a beautiful secret

that I do not yet know

I will love forever

And that will hold true

For as long as there is hope

I will always love you

           III

The water will rain

washing their faces

The torrents come down

erase these sad places

let them burn in apathy

let them die in hot coals

roasting in shellfire

try to fill empty holes

the wind will pick up

as it always has done

dispersing the life

bringing back all the fun

the ground will recover

the earth will still heal

let them go forth

and lead a life that is real

I cannot say how I know this

It is my choice as a bet

An ideal worth having

And worth dying to protect

           IV

She gave me everything

My body and embrace

To have this existence

And share in this place

He gave me this heart

burning within

A passionate cauldron

Of juxtaposable sin

She gave me her voice

Her play and her smile

So we could not stress

In a world of such guile

She is my right hand

How I connect to this place

With so much admiration

I give it a face

And then there is this:

Only void and chance

I’ll celebrate you in kind

You know how I dance

isolated

I often wonder:
If confined is the right word.
If chaotic is the right feeling.
I taste the relentlessness of isolation.
I make the best of it with social media.
I cannot share the green.
I cannot compromise the vault of my infinite thoughts
The fields of space.
The theaters of time.
I hurt,
and I ache,
and I burn.
I immolate pieces of myself
Regularly.
And I have to--
In the tireless
I am spurred into compliance
& the rain falls in a myopic myst
Invisibly. In the shadows of reaching out to others
They see the obscure visage of a black claw reaching toward them and reel in fear.
I am the obscurity
of many moments
beyond the comprehension of self

Full circle

Sterling silver

gesture of conquest

from a being I have become familiar with

that has come to know this universe

so much more deeply than I—

they will scatter you at the end of this

weaving your little glittery bits into the architecture

becoming the fabric of our plain

how honored I am to have known you—

how blessed I am to have felt your human form

in you I feel the liquid weapon more than ever

as a tinge of the savage

flowing like the incoming tide

waves sparkling in the moonlight

glimmering facets like treasure in the eternity of lifetimes you have against me

and still, my words feel small, and short , and human—

I see why they will scatter you

Where the depth of my lament is selfishness

Making my own crystalline consciousness ache unbearably

Knowing that my memories of you will outlast your soul

Grant me the volta—

Return to me—

Help me bend the universe

With my many more lifetimes

 Grant me this beautiful energy

Hold it in the tension between infinity and annihilation

As wafting bubbles flittering through a void

we are made whole in the ballet of our human forms

If only for moments so fleeting as this

Acheron

You; my love

 the woman who stands backlit in setting sun

slender and regal

wreathed in the elegance of your daring

whose silhouette stretches against windswept desert

in a drawn shadow that falls back

into the recesses of memory

how I now suddenly yearn for the past

how suddenly I yearn for the fire

incinerate everything that has transpired.

flames licking the erosion from our forms.

Restore us in brilliant light

this chasm between us—

more transcendent than desire

beyond tenacity and temerity

I would have battled demons

Razed empire.

Languished in chaos for a taste of your ambrosia

We have become hardened

Like female heroes, you inject into yourself

Where you have reigned among the divine

Your visage; like a deity

Your beauty; uncompared

I would have you—

 just as you are

Slower since the accident, addicted as ever

Yet still my species

magnificent and visceral,

 able to awaken at the core

I feel the compulsion  

To heal the damage of man

heal your mind and your memories; yourself and your being

on distant shores

I dream of you whole,    

contemplative of the complete

I would have you—

Your strand woven into mine

proliferating into the future

conquering all of the dimensions that we are destined to reign.