banter

Never stop the wonder
Never stop the dream
There is so much potential
In such a small seed.

There can be no other
This is no mistake

The whispers in the æther
Are the choices we don’t make

There is not another
Like this place that I know
In the way that I mean it
In the way that we must grow

Let us writhe in isolation
Let us burrow in our depths

I know not of these things
I know not of this yet

My heart cannot falter
Though it broils in the sun
I cannot yet seek shelter
For I am yet so undone

Incomplete in the utmost
Vigilant and free
Laying the foundations
For all to plainly see

Out beyond the horizon
Out beyond the shore
There is something else
There is something more

It lives within the blindness
And hides from the light
The world beyond the senses
The world beyond our sight

I want to say its love
I would, but it’s a lie
Too mired to rise above
Too tired to question why

Messeplatz

Of food, and concepts of food.
In my most expensive footwear
my mind slipping to the cute dance
My dog does
Before I go away.
And I smile, and miss her
and my hands keep moving
over the variety of surfaces
the textures of my landscape
they beat in my mind
as hungers that are never sequestered
my hands are taking damage at an alarming rate
my skeleton is being rendered
and yet my mind is racing
alight in the fires that burn in some specific number of BTU’s
as electric as the thoughts of your naked flesh
trembling under my deft hands
I want to hold you down
and devour the entirety of your landscape
And I will.
Two minuets after that timer goes off.
When your still hot to the touch, and yet not so hot
That I would need any sort of protection
between us.

The blur of loosing yourself
The world, the traffic, the lies
All of it deteriorates under this impossible construct of the mind
Where passion fuses into this erratic erotic battlefield
Of so many preexisting conditions and configurations
That even I begin to falter.
deep inside
other concepts
external to myself
the reality of this reality
is one of such complexity and beauty
captured of its physical form
which is why we always begin there
it is not for everyone
but it is for those that eat
As I peel back the layers of you
Unwrapping you unto myself
My heart is racing
Fearlessly and unabashedly
For anything that might come next
As I seek to be nothing less
than the eye of the storm
that pounds away

at pallets of leeks—

eviscerating tropical fruits 

from all the balmy shores
of your essence
still contained in the concept;

overcome in all the appetites 

of the feast.

27/100

Of many daughters, mothers, and grandmothers and so on
They dance luxuriantly
Clothed in red and white
Trying desperately to yield on their well-played savings
And yet they come up empty
Time & time
They show and they fall
Never bearing a thing

Undeterred they push forward
& it’s noble in that way
Though foolish and short-sighted
They are an ethnicity of women
Cautious & careful
Patient and prepared

It is what renders them such
These are not masculine traits
They are not daring, nor risky, nor wild
loosing the masculine superconscious
with every single motion
that lays them as barren
from those they might wish to bear
the wish is gone
evaporated into a mentally excruciating landscape
sadly self-inflicted
this side-effect of ignorance
complacent & ostentatious
as a silhouette akin to selfishness
that fails to conceive
for a more universal view

Fascinating insanity

26/100

Aggressively resilient
They come bearing banners of wherever-the-hell-isn’t here
They are like I
Muscling for rank
in the rising tide
where the waves crash on the shores of my heart
spilling in through the holes in our dreams
what wrought me here?
what bearing do I owe in this ephemera?
This life and these lies must hold their place
In the pantheon of my ideas
It all seems so relevant
But evaporates cheaply in to the change-of-topic
This sudden spiel of coy and cunning
Where skills become endlessly refined into some kind of delusion
That evaporate under the gorgon’s careful gaze
Everything is cast into stone
Dreams are woven into the fabric of this fiction
The echoes of what “could have” and what “is” become louder and louder
Beckoning and spurring me across the seas of those desires
Building the bridge;
one step at a time into unknown shores
I’m not sure if I’m being brave anymore or just foolish
And I question if the map and compass ever worked at all
The recklessness for which I have rendered them into this fray
Falling like meteors into the depths
Annihilate my fragile pieces
Make me whole again, in honor and heart
Into the loving image of this charade

so much, so many

Heal me.
in the fire of the sound, satiate my disease, satiate this infection
I feel so numb to the horizon
And I fear nothing
Save for the dawns that will not come
As if only to be haunted by the echoes of the hopes that I once held precious
Pull me from this wreckage
Absolve me of this ache

The words so clumsily
Fumbling to describe
That thing; that thing, in this reality
So I turn to talking about black holes or some bullshit
I feint and struggle and mumble
Stark and naked like this thing that sits before me I can’t describe
Mired in how inconceivable I am to others

And it feels chilled extremities in a warm bath
Cool, and slightly electric

Calming but slightly catastrophic
Like awakening in darkness in a familiar place
From dreaming of all the lives you may never lead
And yet they always feel like deja vous
It always seems familiar though its completely beyond this reality
Busily superseding this guise
In the power that absolves all of this
Like watching water drain out of the sink
A thousand times at some other kitchen job
Each time dispersing of your life one curious sink-full at a time
As some mysterious time-consuming force absolves you of yourself
Envisioning the vortex
yet remaining vulnerable to the incessant pull
in this plane
manifested as some other distraction

it is there in the sand
as a taste of absolution
as if to remind the imminentness of this universe
is that it will be finitely impermanent

Familiar

(in memory my good friend)




Sharing in the toxoplasmosis
The universe that wrought us this moment
Indistinguishable from the next
As a thirst that is never quantifiable
As the hurt seeps out of me so slowly
And I wish I could hold you in this moment
And the next and the next
And all I want to do is cry so loudly
That my thoughts bleed out like ink
Dribbling away the color for all this anger
Like seething behind this plastic face
That constantly seems to be stuck apologizing for nothing
these daylight hours that have become endless
In this land that is neither desert nor jungle
And I wish I could hold you in this moment
And the next and the next
And I want to cry so deeply
that it undoes all of the mistakes
that it revokes all the shortcomings of myself
that it rains down over this windswept hell
I know not to waste water;
I learned this from you.
And how to see through walls
how to see through minds
As we have spent so much life
As conversion of that to memory
I cannot accept.
And I wish I could hold you in this moment
And the next and the next
And I want to cry so endlessly
That darkness pours from the earth
Annihilating everything in its wake.
And the sun will rise in apathy
time will separate us into factions
as we all become lost mariners in the tides of time
faring our own oceans
dreaming our own dreams
in this moment
in the persistence of our memories
I will honor you, by never forgetting what you taught me.