color chain

With each stroke, I undo

bringing the work closer and closer to completion

Eventually unravel this spell

Yearning for letters and words that never come

The truth rings through the cracks

I mean nothing to you.

I mean nothing to anyone

And I’ve painted this succession so many times before,

unraveled so many others

casting them into the mausoleum where they exist forever 

and yet, yours remains so complex

so, complicated

so twisted it takes everything I have to remember where I am

but the truth rings through the cracks;

I am alone

And each time I spill these colors

Each passing year that slips away

I undo the spells that have held me, find new ones, and undo those

For the first time I grow tired of who I am

I’m sick of what I’ve become

Agnostic to finishing

the paintings that will evacuate your smell from memory

within each ending the inauguration of the same emotions arises

cowardice keeps me from pushing on