lost connection

Once the train left the station,

I wanted to wave my hand and cause a car accident.

destroying something violently

to mar my enemies so completely they could never heal.

like a debilitating black streak
defacing everything I don't control

as my hate for what our lives represent

our place in time

our poverty

Where I feel so unbelievably powerless to help
anyone, even myself.

And yet, I feel so strong when you are near.

And I felt that power riding north

Away from me

Without me

I wanted to lay waste to an invisible enemy

That brings us these painful moments,

Drowning in the helicopters and the car alarms

where pieces of me die
like a shattered flophouse bathroom mirror

When the doors roll shut and I worry about your safety

  what fresh hell awaits when you get there

where the dreams we have of us are always put away on the top shelf,

like a bottle of wine we keep and never open.

And I wiped my eyes and dissuaded a crackhead for change

I want change too, man. 

I want everything to fucking change.

And if it means burning this city to ashes

I am willing.

And honestly, what it really means is keeping my chin up

And being brave enough

waiting on those empty tracks

For you to return.