Afraid to move forward
Or retreat back
across the wreckage
across the wreckage
this moment like shrapnel
scattered across the wasteland
scattered across the wasteland
our lives
as a fraying banner
begging for the rain to fall
as blossoms scattered to the wind
caustic and hurtful
the ache of what has been done echoing through us.
In the savagery of our species
Stripped of arousal
Where I don’t ever want to feel numb like this, numb to you.
Separated from what I feel and what I am
Drawn and desiccated
Callous to our own suffering.
I open my eyes upon urban and domestic pantheon
In moments of solitude
Dissolving sexuality in a harshness I cannot place
I feel horrible—
I feel lost.
In the scent of something I relegate to memory
among caverns of corrosive darkness
How deeply we experience such moments
how often;
As chaos and carnage
Sought and sonder
Wish and wonder
a thin ribbon of smoke peels across this landscape
that chokes in sorrow
asphyxiates in hurt
where you seem so impossibly far
in grief and strife
how can we face the sun again
or each other
unspeakable loss
Wondering on that which will not become
in the clarifying bitter scent of redemption.
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