Agency

Like a dynamo

It charges and charges

Forward

Faster

Everything, all at once

Build, create, make,

Sit, write

,

(comma)

Like a kiln

Hardening objects of utility

In a hellish flame

That takes weeks to subside.

As if plotting for the future is a kind of internally contained firestorm

Forged in utility

I am beginning to feel its drawbacks acutely

As the machinery seems to wear out

From the brattle of repetition

Gears slip in fatigue

Muscles fail from exhaustion

Time grinds in slow and measured pieces

As if evaporating

To the forest

Lost in the steel and machines

Windborne hallucinations

And it subsides as suddenly as it happens

Though those around me can see I have lensed

Elsewhere.

Elsewhere.

It comes like sizzling static

The whisper of writhing chains

scraping leaves in the wind

elsewhere.

I hear them

 Purring of a friends voice.

Clear,

with a certain rawness I appreciate

in a wholeness that seems familiar

I look to the stars in yearning

I am bigger than my body

Familiar to more than myself

With an agency over this and other realms

As if being all and nothing

Whole and fractured

the nuances of restlessness grow like weeds

blocking out paths

That used to lead me

home.