long into the night
dark into the dream
 we strayed from what was right
to smooth out our seam

rising to the surface
in the glow the sun has set
where nothing can touch us
in a hope that none forget

whispering those desires
into echoing pools
as affection perspires
we still have all the tools

the soft footsteps 
tread off to-who-knows-where
your love, i have kept
i will save it for you there.  

Contamination

If you knew what it is to be me

You would not say the things you say

treat me with the lack of deference

instill doubt in every conceivable opening

you would wake up angry enough to fight

work twice as hard as anyone you know

to go to sleep at night exhausted

 with little to show for it

you would hear them cry out to you for guidance

feel eyes turn in the room seeking leadership

when they all have the same technical parts

some are better, some are worse, but it’s all roughly equal

you would know the difference between bullshit and conversation

you would be able to hear plot-holes on a television from another room

simultaneously while listening to robot noise and writing a book   

hear the whole spectrum of notes in every repetitive song

I am not out of this place, but I am leaving it

In one form or another

If you were me you would know what it is to have psychological echoes

You would understand the things I say, that I cannot rightly say in words

You would know what it means to truly ‘come’

if you were me

you would know in some part what the future holds

how one can make dreams a reality in a world where everything is cheap and plastic

you could see how the earth is alive

a whole and as an individual

how connected we could become to a greater sense of things

and the truth is: I am glad you are not me.

I would not wish this on anyone

I would not trade places with any ‘normal’ person

I do not want to be human again

I do not want to live vacantly with that pervading sense of hopelessness

I know where I sit in the place of all things

Upon my own throne, where there is neither vanity nor wealth

luxury is the faint idea that someday I will ever be able to afford ironlak

I inhabit a world that is unlike your own;

That is driven by chemicals and substance

Though they aren’t mutually exclusive.

this, these words, are all I can do to traverse the gap between our two worlds

It is fucking pathetic

&

 it’s fucking sad.

so I will continue to wake up angry and alone

And I will continue to exist

And I will make this place beautiful in my own way

Because I am not defeated, and I am not discouraged

I have some semblance of what the future holds    

My life is dedicated to the resistance

not hypnotized by the distraction

I will spread my wings again

infecting everything-

an aura I will gladly share   

emollient

Pools of yourness all around

Retroactively Slide deeply

Into the velveteen curtain

bitter kiss of the frozen falling rain

  inky

succulent

forgotten into this satin tar

falling into the oil

I don’t want to get out

If you are here I have nothing better

drown in this comfortable swirl with me

Whip up a scream that pops a sloppy bubble in every direction

Unleash your pull on me

stick to this.

The vicious  that comprises everything in this affair of the moment

Drown me in your absence of structure