22/100

It all comes out as the same note.

The same space where everything seems to be of one color

Where the most adventurous dreams end in a time-consumptive lesson

And all that was and is are the same

Passing some thoughtless nexus
traveling through entrophy

As time destroys us all

Each to our own design

The madness blooms under feral sun

Suspicions boil where affirmation once held sway

Under the reign of the sun

Everything becomes a competition

As the proliferation of self is all-consuming

surfacing

This constant ballet of resources

Money there, funding here, gas, food, weed, blow

It’s a life of constant allocation

When I want to understand more than I already do

In this void from which all things come

That needs to expressed: like an infection

Where everyone’s right. I’m just being lazy.

But I too know. That this is all nothing.

When the thunder breaks the sky

Breaking through everyone’s

sense of self-importance.

I have not learned anything if not to save.

 subsist on little in this desert of violence and meth

control is a farce. Like human constructs built on constructs

dreams within realities. We are the forgotten. We are the underclassed. We are the expendables in a time of excess.

And yet we persist indulgently.

some fevered corruption of reality that sustains itself

in the way that self-actualization

becomes the last kind of orgasm you need

but don’t want to have

In the dark

Behind the coyote lines

The hinnies if the young burros fall silent

The as I stand there

In the darkness overwhelmed by an emotion

Akin to terrified. Akin to fear.

in a large drain some doppelganger

unnervingly emulates what I do.

what brought me here:

It was the cinderblock courtyard in the middle of the night

Lit by one single halogen bulb that hummed into the encircling darkness

Generators underneath steel plates

Guarded a quarter mile to the west by novice security

What-the-fuck-does-that-door-into-the-ground-open?

What brought me here:

curiosity greater than anxiety that dominates

every space in my mind

behind me headlights don’t even realize they are perusing

and I sweat to get away,

to upper ground that they never seem to see