Holding you,

is enough.

enough for me to swoon over

enough for me to wake up three days later, still obsessed, still yearning

my home is where you are

if ony you could realize

its not a question,

...but an answer

as i have pulled all the harpoons i taught you how to make

and

folded them into paper cranes

that take flight

and sacrificed pieces

and pieces

and pieces

until all that is left

is the transitional form

that wants you.

a pillar of my connection

with humanity

my (one) want, in no uncertain terms

sluts

Named for a Mexican whore

That he fucked

While tweaking in Tijuana

Played her all day

Until pink skin peeled from the ensuing sunburn

Where he returned to work on the derricks

years fell behind him

as a myth with no evidence

beyond our realms of thought   

we shared her as a tag-team

where to regain my swagger

I used the little slut

to regain

my voice  

In the musty pawn shop

Where I saw her

Missing two strings, in a broken smile

Her sturdy build, beautiful sound

Swooning as I leave

To walk home alone

in the rain

with nobody, the secret

is the ultimate gift 

 in the way we shed our former selves

without words. 

    

Rank

If I could cut you away

From that decoration you carry around

The same image copied and stenciled

standing like a Pomeranian

I’ve seen it before

 slip into the dark

I promise I’ll bite.

Imagining the sunrise

With you near

I remember the motorcycle

out of the realm, trying so hard

swooning over the physical material

collision of our two lives where he asphyxiated, it

as an incubus

he left you

as you left me

drawn off by the song

too afraid to dance

a beautiful slob

like yourself

like myself

Put a lance to my pink ribbons and lacerate

the connection

asunder in yearning words, that

you.

wont.

Read.

the repeated reflection
photograph after photograph of, nothing
beyond the surface
i get it,
there is nowhere left to run
but inward.
what you have to show
eclipses anything
worth spitting venom

where the words and actions are made of paper
something as singular as in one dimension
such deftness for ideals
that were founded in the breast
of a little girl
when they were still real
recalling freewill
as a bad dream


know that home

Is where people share laughter

slipping into the valley

I always recall the place

remembering you for eons

in parallel I can love

anything so perpendicular

if only

they could

let go.   

residing

peel apart everything.

Everything.

With little diligent fingers

unravel everything into the way it should have gone, the way it took place in my head

and I, I was so wrong.  I thought that this place had more to offer

in the pit of our minds I hear your echoes clearly

a resonance that drives

more than you realize

trying to outrun the stretching shadows

in the ricochet of the starlight I become

hardened.

Held into this trap

Institutionalized to a degree that I will never seem to escape.

And we hold it, and we bear it, and the luxuriant infection seeps in through the splinters

I Know, what it means to know that my best is not enough

 I am not enough. my infection is deep. The way is long.

But I am not a slob.

As I think of seeing you happy again. Excited. Exciting. Exhilarated for the coming day

bleed my infection into this gray place, and smile.

not for you.

Eating alone again,

I forgotten everything where you were my friend

With those words that never last

Where everything was already done in the past

And we’ve built up ripples in the pond

The places I’ve walked before never felt so long

And the holes inside never fill

In a life of just more time to kill

I dreamt of your face

Through this empty place

 And I called out your name

but nothing changed, and it was all the same

and I, I will fight, stay the course through the night

where all came out wrong

and we traded it all for a song

and you, you weren’t there, as if you even cared

as if I could sleep in the heat

searching for something I may never meet

a place that I could call home

it’s a place that I may never know

don’t you try to reclaim

everything torn down in flames

don’t you try to regain

the sphere of this place causes so much pain

and I, I will fight, stay the course through the night

where all came out wrong

and we traded it all for a song

and you, you weren’t there, as if you even cared

as we hold on to our spark

in a world of lasting dark

I will find a place I know

A place that I can call home