Sunday, May 22, 2011

Holding you,

is enough.

enough for me to swoon over
enough for me to wake up three days later, still obsessed, still yearning

my home is where you are
if ony you could realize
its not a question,

...but an answer

as i have pulled all the harpoons i taught you how to make
folded them into paper cranes
that take flight

and sacrificed pieces
and pieces
and pieces

until all that is left
is the transitional form

that wants you.
a pillar of my connection
with humanity

my (one) want, in no uncertain terms

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Named for a Mexican whore
That he fucked
While tweaking in Tijuana

Played her all day
Until pink skin peeled from the ensuing sunburn
Where he returned to work on the derricks

years fell behind him
as a myth with no evidence
beyond our realms of thought   

we shared her as a tag-team
where to regain my swagger
I used the little slut
to regain
my voice  

In the musty pawn shop
Where I saw her
Missing two strings, in a broken smile

Her sturdy build, beautiful sound
Swooning as I leave
To walk home alone
in the rain

with nobody, the secret
is the ultimate gift 
 in the way we shed our former selves
without words. 


Saturday, May 14, 2011


If I could cut you away
From that decoration you carry around
The same image copied and stenciled
standing like a Pomeranian
I’ve seen it before
 slip into the dark
I promise I’ll bite.
Imagining the sunrise
With you near

I remember the motorcycle
out of the realm, trying so hard
swooning over the physical material
collision of our two lives where he asphyxiated, it
as an incubus
he left you
as you left me
drawn off by the song
too afraid to dance

a beautiful slob
like yourself
like myself
Put a lance to my pink ribbons and lacerate
the connection
asunder in yearning words, that

the repeated reflection
photograph after photograph of, nothing
beyond the surface
i get it,
there is nowhere left to run
but inward.
what you have to show
eclipses anything
worth spitting venom

where the words and actions are made of paper
something as singular as in one dimension
such deftness for ideals
that were founded in the breast
of a little girl
when they were still real
recalling freewill
as a bad dream

know that home
Is where people share laughter
slipping into the valley
I always recall the place
remembering you for eons
in parallel I can love
anything so perpendicular

if only

they could

let go.   

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


peel apart everything.
With little diligent fingers
unravel everything into the way it should have gone, the way it took place in my head
and I, I was so wrong.  I thought that this place had more to offer
in the pit of our minds I hear your echoes clearly
a resonance that drives
more than you realize
trying to outrun the stretching shadows
in the ricochet of the starlight I become
Held into this trap
Institutionalized to a degree that I will never seem to escape.
And we hold it, and we bear it, and the luxuriant infection seeps in through the splinters

I Know, what it means to know that my best is not enough
 I am not enough. my infection is deep. The way is long.

But I am not a slob.

As I think of seeing you happy again. Excited. Exciting. Exhilarated for the coming day
bleed my infection into this gray place, and smile.

Friday, May 6, 2011

not for you.

Eating alone again,
I forgotten everything where you were my friend
With those words that never last
Where everything was already done in the past

And we’ve built up ripples in the pond
The places I’ve walked before never felt so long
And the holes inside never fill
In a life of just more time to kill

I dreamt of your face
Through this empty place
 And I called out your name
but nothing changed, and it was all the same

and I, I will fight, stay the course through the night
where all came out wrong
and we traded it all for a song
and you, you weren’t there, as if you even cared

as if I could sleep in the heat
searching for something I may never meet
a place that I could call home
it’s a place that I may never know

don’t you try to reclaim
everything torn down in flames
don’t you try to regain
the sphere of this place causes so much pain

and I, I will fight, stay the course through the night
where all came out wrong
and we traded it all for a song
and you, you weren’t there, as if you even cared

as we hold on to our spark
in a world of lasting dark
I will find a place I know
A place that I can call home