Wednesday, March 2, 2011


If you knew what it is to be me
You would not say the things you say
treat me with the lack of deference
instill doubt in every conceivable opening
you would wake up angry enough to fight
work twice as hard as anyone you know
to go to sleep at night exhausted
 with little to show for it
you would hear them cry out to you for guidance
feel eyes turn in the room seeking leadership
when they all have the same technical parts
some are better, some are worse, but it’s all roughly equal
you would know the difference between bullshit and conversation
you would be able to hear plot-holes on a television from another room
simultaneously while listening to robot noise and writing a book   
hear the whole spectrum of notes in every repetitive song
I am not out of this place, but I am leaving it
In one form or another
If you were me you would know what it is to have psychological echoes
You would understand the things I say, that I cannot rightly say in words
You would know what it means to truly ‘come’
if you were me
you would know in some part what the future holds
how one can make dreams a reality in a world where everything is cheap and plastic
you could see how the earth is alive
a whole and as an individual
how connected we could become to a greater sense of things
and the truth is: I am glad you are not me.
I would not wish this on anyone
I would not trade places with any ‘normal’ person
I do not want to be human again
I do not want to live vacantly with that pervading sense of hopelessness
I know where I sit in the place of all things
Upon my own throne, where there is neither vanity nor wealth
luxury is the faint idea that someday I will ever be able to afford ironlak
I inhabit a world that is unlike your own;
That is driven by chemicals and substance
Though they aren’t mutually exclusive.
this, these words, are all I can do to traverse the gap between our two worlds

It is fucking pathetic
 it’s fucking sad.

so I will continue to wake up angry and alone
And I will continue to exist
And I will make this place beautiful in my own way
Because I am not defeated, and I am not discouraged
I have some semblance of what the future holds    
My life is dedicated to the resistance
not hypnotized by the distraction
I will spread my wings again
infecting everything-
an aura I will gladly share   

No comments:

Post a Comment