Wednesday, January 5, 2011


 ideals of justice, righteousness, and worth
rooster-tails spraying everything I pass over
echoing a time when I didn’t feel so impotent
asphyxiating in the constant sigh of central heating

where is everything that I took pride in?
manifestations of vanity that I came to know well
strangled by their own cords in the reticulation of my mind
I wanted everything, wanted everything to be different

Sedated by solstice, those conventional terms of consciousness falter
Evacuate my lungs feigning pollution, corruption, and infection
I too, sought great things of people scattered as myself
Maintained a sense of hope in the chasms that do not seek visitors

It all seemed so important then, it was… unique
Feel the broad strokes of black wings everything seems to be
that undulating umber that I sought to touch so fervently
holds the lasting effect the tender wounds that time must heal

As I smothered fables of a past life in ink, acrylic, and lacquer
I sought the faces of all that I had ever loved
Only now realizing; the only people that love me are the ones I create
Mannequins I vandalize into obscure gains that claim valor in this world

Wrought iron bars and cinderblocks reverberate the various cages
As  though everything becomes light-headed in this attempted disneyland
Chlorine fills the air in the plastic halls they walk, thoughtlessly
Standing out against this sterilized canopy, to make easier targets

I was once a creature of great bounty  and skittishly creep
in the alleys they built on ruins: places I thought  of as my own
will I ever learn to master things like; forgiveness, reconciliation, and affection
forgotten after so much time dissolving in acid

each second etches another black mark against my name
with the depravation of air I so desperately need
how can one reconcile time in the wake of so much loss?
holding on to a paralyzing fear of letting go 

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