It feels like being out of breath
In the inner-city
Where there’s nowhere left to turn
A tinge of vertigo
A taste of fear
I feel it like an emptiness in my chest
A vacancy of self
A hurt that I cannot name
Through dimension and time
I feel all of the forest
at its borders they saw-down the trees
As if my mind is being eaten by ants
And I want nothing more than to tell the truth
I want nothing more than this hurt to go away
But I am the forest
I am the trees.
& I am not immune to the flames of man
As if redefining abundance.
I grow so restless with this form and its shortcomings
And how endlessly harrowing it all is
How endlessly fearful I am
Of my own ideas
How endlessly afraid of myself I have become
the weaponization of all of my facets
at my core I am the angriest tree in the forest
and the fire and I, we have become at war
and I will proliferate every reserve of water
and I will fight you until my body is broken
I will fight you till my soul is ruins
I am the electricity that runs through hell
I am the anger of eons.
Immortal with desire
I am but a player—
.. when the fires of my enemies are extinguished,
Will I stop?
Will I stop after Mars is terraformed?
after all opposition
has lain down their bow at my feet
will I ever feel satiated
if you know who I am—
you know the answer.
I never tire of the sight of birds
I never fear the beings of this reality
Embracing the relativity of things
How beautiful I feel to know this of our species
And I feel the pulse of the universe
Through my connections to others
How magnificent transcendent moments feel
There is a wondrous beauty to this,
because it is ephemeral
because it is real
Our lives are but the blossom of existence
flowers into this plane
consumed as ashes in fire
as if experiences
of the soul transcend life itself
as if a sensation beyond reason
makes it all worthwhile.