i suppose it's irrelovent now
i suppose the time has passed
the flags have flown
the glory has faded
the world grows darker and darker each passing day
each day it burns off a little more
ultimately there will be nothing when this light is out
i have struggled to light this way
to light this dark place
to grasp that wich is nothing
yet the time gnaws
time gnaws away at us,
all of us, and her and him, and them, and all the clever conjugation i can devise
it wears me down
though this is the brightest i have ever been
even in these 'dark' hours
have i brought you anything? or just more chaos?
i have not made your lives better...
i have not made you happier...
no, quite the contrary, i have shown you void and darkness and vaccum
and then they thank me for it?
and then they ask for more?
i dont want you to hurt, hurt like i do
yet they seek to be like me?
the seek the result and none of the route
they seek the product and none of the process
and still they cannot see that the scars are almost ...structural
the struggle is a kind of a ...work-out
such is the way.
such is the nature of darkness
this is the governance of time
curse this impermanent place, and its denizens
fuck these cheap, plactic, dreams
destroy this body and everything in it
burn these words so they will go away
light up this soul to suck it into darkness
and yet, it still would not be enough
this fire can grow infinitely dim and not go out
a smouldering mass of elegantly cursed flesh
to be Lucifer, the chosen, the gifted above all else
though the burden be heavy and the costs are vast
where collateral damage is the state of being
here is the precipice of man!
this is where the divine light dilutes into the darkness of chaos
this is where life and death hid within one another
it is what i am
and you can do nothing
i hate you.
i fucking hate you,
...only to realize that your light is my own.